My job is to call balls and strikes …
– Chief Justice John Roberts
The outlook was most sunny for AG Garland’s team
Trump’s legal gambit was on its face simply too extreme
The request for a special master was specious at best
Precedent it seemed would lay that far-out ploy to rest
Pundits in the media cheered in three-part harmony
The motion has no merit, that’s our scholarly decree
When the judge reviews this foul pitch, as neutral umpires should
She’s sure to strike it down forthwith – all unbiased callers would
The DOJ’s objections were just as clear as they could be:
Granting the motion would harm national security
It would slow our probe of crimes, which of course is our biz
Besides that Trump lacks standing since the records are not his
Oh, somewhere in America impartial justice is well-liked
But in Judge Aileen Cannon’s court, wild pitches are now strikes
Her fealty to patron Trump was firm, the rule of law she chose to flout,
Now there’s no joy in Liberaland, mighty Merrick had struck out
About the Poem
In its attempt to slow or stop the DOJ’s investigation into government documents found by the FBI at Mar-a-Lago, the Trump legal team filed a request to appoint a special master to first review the seized documents for any that might fall under attorney-client or executive privilege. To do so, they traveled 70 miles north of West Palm Beach to have the request heard by a judge who had been appointed by Trump and confirmed by the Senate in late 2020. The potential for bias was mostly ignored by Democrats as a favorable ruling for Trump seemed highly unlikely.
About the Author
Rick Blum has been chronicling life’s vagaries through essays and poetry for more than 30 years during stints as a nightclub owner, high-tech manager, market research mogul, and, most recently, old geezer. His writings have appeared in more than 60 magazines and literary journals, as well as in numerous poetry anthologies. He is also a frequent contributor to the Humor Times. Mr. Blum is a three-time winner of the annual Carlisle Poetry Contest. His poem, Tomfoolery, received an honorable mention in The Boston Globe Deflategate poetry challenge.
Rick Blum, this is wonderful!
In the final stanza, I think it would improve the rhythm if you changed “court” to “courtroom,” and the “a” in “now a strikes” is a mistake. Please forgive my nitpicking; your satire is brilliant; I love your poem!
Thank you, the mistake has been corrected