On Birthdays and Holiday Wishes / An Abecedarian for ChatGPT

After the birth of the world’s most embraced
baby (what could be better than an always-ready assistant with unlimited
curiosity, I bet even Einstein turned in his grave), it’s hard to believe it’s been 365
days. With 100 million users weekly, and 1.7 billion visits in October 2023 alone, ChatGPT is

everyone’s friend. Each search a satisfying claim to instantaneous Internet
fame despite the ongoing debate, if not duality, of falsehoods versus authenticity.

Game on, said Merriam-Webster as it announced its word of the year,
happy to celebrate at the corner of hallucination and documentation.

Is this for real? Novel ice cream flavors and image generation? Yes! The
jukebox is on, no dimes (or permissions) needed. It’s free-for-all! Want
Kafka-inspired novellas or Lemony Snicket’s next best seller?
Legalese in laymen terms? Your doctor’s newest right arm?

Maybe more mundane meanderings are desired (who can resist) –

Niceties suitable for the most irritating of emails.
Obituaries and organic recipes (banana bread, orange marmalade) with no advertising streams.

Perhaps it’s teaching tools (a quiet way to manage five-five workloads). Prompt-ally!

Quick! Quickly! Quicker!

Reality TV in properly prompted prime time. We’ve fed it to
saturation. It’s met and exceeded all milestones. Hooray! Now,
the world’s most-fed baby is about to walk. Dutifully
understated, no protective undergarments needed, alongside
verifiable claims of inauthenticity and a stomach full of feedings.

What now? We’ve already served it
Xtra large helpings of our own bread and home-stitched baking.

You’d think that the candle-lighting would be more cautious, each of us baited in
zoological histories of our own making.

About the Poem

Of all the possibilities, what I’d most enjoy under my Christmas tree is a farewell card – RIP Generative AI and ChatGPT.

About the Author

Jen Schneider is an educator who lives, works, and writes in small spaces throughout Pennsylvania.

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